The Empire has fallen on hard times ...

Drill, Baby, Drill!

Dictionaries have been removed from classrooms in southern California schools after a parent complained about a child reading the definition for "oral sex".

High wire artists cross South Korean River alone to provide a fantastic headline.

Personal Favorite: "One killed, six injured in pie factory explosion. Blast heard up to 3.14159265 miles away"

Just a few brilliant quotes: "Don't tell me to give away my own money. That's socialism." "I'm an American. We don't have czars in America." Amazing.

Will downtown survive? Will this "make-over" succeed? What do we have to loose?

This must be a low point in the career of many a Fox News employee.

...and, by inmates' accounts, the 71-year-old Ponzi schemer came out the winner.

The WTF (Wisconsin Tourism Federation) got tired of being the butt of jokes and changed its name to the Tourism Federation of Wisconsin.

Maybe I'm reading too much in between the lines here, but that's my take and I'm sticking to it.

Idiots.

A sign pointing southbound travelers onto Business Highway 51 in Rothschild and Schofield bears an incorrect spelling for every word except “exit.”

It wasn't exactly a slow news week (nor has it been since) the day Michael Jackson died. So why, almost a week later, is it seemingly all we hear about? Marc Cooper breaks down the data.

Mays, 50, was found unresponsive by his wife inside his Tampa, Fla., home at 7:45 a.m. on Sunday, according to the Tampa Police Department.

In a repeat of the verdict from her first federal trial, Thomas-Rasset was found liable for willfully infringing all 24 copyrights controlled by the four major record labels at issue in the case. The jury awarded the labels damages totaling a whopping $1.92 million, or $80,000 per song. This represents a $1.7 Million dollar increase over her first trial award.

The Top 10 Most Absurd Time Covers of The Past 40 Years.

Poor lil Janine's innocence comes to an end as when she finds out that crunchberries don't grow on trees next to Lollipop Lane on Gumdrop Hill. The heartless U.S. District Court twists the knife by throwing out the lawsuit. Don't worry Janine, I am suing Cap'n Crunch for irreparable damage to the roof of my mouth.

Highland Park stunner. Cantilever design with two buildings. The main house, and a separate out building for a car museum. Priced to move at $2.3 Million.

In all seriousness, three cheers that MAYBE this bloody mess is finally over. The Sri Lankan government is far from blameless, but with all the bloody mess' going on around the world I think it's worth noting the few occasions when things go in the right direction.